


One-liners

by AXEe



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-07-27 18:22:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16224737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AXEe/pseuds/AXEe
Summary: A collection of 13/Rose fics each one based on a line from the show





	1. "I'm Good at Building Things...Probably"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! Just saw the new premiere (insert embarrassing girlish sequel here!) and got inspired by some of Jodie's lines, so here are some hopefully funny 13/Rose fics based on a line from Thirteen :=). Shouldn't be any spoilers, but still be warned all who read here :=)

******

“I can build a new one!” The Doctor boasted

Rose glanced from her wife to the pile of lumber and screws that was supposed to be their new bed. The box had claimed that only ‘some’ assembly was required, which appeared to be an obvious lie

“Are you sure?” Rose asked hesitantly “because I can just call Mickey, he’s pretty good with his hands”

“No, no, no,” The Doctor dismissed, already holding a leg in one hand and her new sonic screwdriver in the other “I’m good at building things,” she proclaimed. She glanced back at the still-dismantled bed, nibbling her lower lip uncertainly

“Probably” she added

Rose sighed as she moved down the corridor

“I’ll get the first aid kit” she called out…


	2. "These Legs Definitely Used to be Longer"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update! Enjoy! :=)

******

The Doctor wriggled, legs kicking in the empty air as she tried to pull herself up

“Come on, come on,” she growled as she kicked and flailed harder, looking something like a spastic chimpanzee almost. She sighed as her wriggling came to nothing. She was going to have to do the unthinkable; she had hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this.

She sucked in a deep breath

“Rose!” she bellowed “can you get the ladder?”

There was an answering clatter and then something narrow but solid was under her feet. Sighing, she slowly released her grip on the shelf and climbed down

“You all right?” Rose asked worriedly

“Yeah,” The Doctor panted as she looked back up at the library shelf and then down at her legs “yep,” she declared “these legs _definitely_ used to be longer”

Rose smirked

“You don’t hear me complaining” she teased

The Doctor blushed

“No, guess not” she agreed…


	3. "Empty Pockets! I Hate Empty Pockets!"

******

The Doctor hated waiting in line.

Actually she hated waiting period (which Rose could attest to), but waiting in line was a particular pet peeve

“Tickets?”

The Doctor beamed at the ticket taker and rooted through her pockets

“Oh, no, hang on,” she rooted through her inside pockets, her arm disappearing up to her elbow as Rose quietly gave the man their tickets

“Doctor?” Rose prompted

“Oh! Right!” The Doctor beamed at her, but scowled as she continued absently searching her pockets

“Oh! Empty pockets! I hate empty pockets!” she complained

“I know, I know,” Rose soothed “come on, movie” she cheered…


	4. "Big Blue Cheat"

******

The fight had been long, tempers had flared, insults thrown, but this was it, the end.

The Doctor poised, her hand steady, finishing gambit all planned out

"This is it, you know?" she warned "the end, the final battle. After this--"

"Checkmate," Rose absently slid her rook forward, capturing The Doctor's king. Sighing, Rose leaned back and stretched her arms up above her head "I'm going to get a snack" she announced, getting up and leaving the room

The Doctor continued gapping at the chessboard, mind turning over the last few moves

"CHEAT!!" she called out "ROSE TYLYER IS A BIG, BLUE CHEAT!!!"

"THE DOCTOR IS A BIG SORE LOSER!" Rose called back

"Well--," The Doctor spluttered and stammered for a few seconds "I know I am, but what are you?!" she called out

"Mature, real mature!" Rose called back...


	5. "Oh! This New Nose is So Reliable!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit sexy, nothing explicit, but still its there :=)

******

Rose looked up as The Doctor slowly came up behind her, encircling her arms around Rose’s waist as she nuzzled her neck, chuckling

“You’re in a mood” Rose noted

“So are you” The Doctor retorted

“How do you know?” Rose breathed as The Doctor’s hands edged up under her t-shirt

“Oh, this is new nose is so reliable,” the Time Lord breathed “ _very_ …reliable” she added

"Oh?" Rose teased as she turned around "let's see how reliable" she grinned...


	6. "Right.  When I Said 'step' Obviously, I Meant 'Jump'."

******

"Just step across" The Doctor encouraged

Rose looked between her and the gapping chasm separating them

" _'Step'_?!" she demanded

"Right...well, when I said 'step', obviously...I meant...'jump'," The Doctor shrugged sheepishly "come on, trust me," she held out her arms "I'll catch you"

Gritting her teeth, Rose took a breath as she backed up and then, breaking out into a sprint, charged across the chasm, arms and legs pin-wheeling as she felt The Doctor's hands tightly grasped her own

"GOT YOU!" The Doctor cheered as she quickly pulled Rose up "there we are, all fine, aren't we?"

Panting for breath, Rose swatted her wife in the arm

"I...am...going...to...kill you if you ever do that again!" she growled

"No you won't"

"Try me"


	7. "Half an Hour Ago I Was a White-Haired Scottsman"/"Does It Suit Me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! This one uses TWO lines of Thirteen's and is basically a short rewrite of Thirteen's introduction on the train except with Rose there as well. Spoilers ahead! BE WARNED!!! :=)

******

Yasmin Kahn had seen a lot of odd people during her time as a police officer, but the two blondes now marching down the darkened train away from her were taking the prize

Right, she told herself, follow procedure

“Can I have your names please?” she asked

“When we can remember them” the blonde in the tattered suit replied

“You don’t know your own names?” Yaz asked in disbelief

The younger blonde in the hoddie and blue jeans sighed and rolled her eyes

“Rose Tyler” she introduced herself

Yaz quickly wrote that down and turned to Rose’s companion

“And you, madam?” she asked

The woman turned to face her

“Why are you calling me ‘madam’?” she asked

“Because…you’re a woman?” Yaz answered hesitantly

The woman looked surprised

“Am I?” she asked. She looked to Rose almost as if for approval “does it suit me?” she asked hopefully

Much to Yaz’s surprise, Rose gave the other woman the once-over, as if the question seriously deserved an answer

“Actually…yeah” she said

The still unnamed woman turned back to Yaz with an apologetic smile

“Sorry,” she apologized “half an hour ago I was a white-haired Scotsman”

Yaz glanced at Rose

“Does, uh, does she have a history of mental problems?” she asked quietly

Rose snorted and then sighed as the unnamed woman continued on

“Sometimes I swear she needs a leash” she muttered, charging after her, with Yaz hurrying behind. Later, Yaz would find that, out of the two of them, Rose was the sanest…


	8. "I Forgot I Put Things in These Pockets"

******

"Let's see...paperclip...pencil with no eraser...tangled yo-yo...," Rose trailed off with a sighed "no sonic screwdriver:

The Doctor sighed and leaned back against the wall

"Well, at least we're being executed together this time," she pointed out "oh! I forgot I put things in these pockets!"

Sitting upright, she dug through the pockets of her new coat and unearthed a bruised apple, a shriveled up orange (at least it _looked_ like an orange), a teddy bear (which Rose happily took from her and cuddled to her chest) and, finally, Rose's sonic screwdriver, which she proudly up above her head like King Arthur and Excalibur

"Shall we, Rose?" The Doctor asked

"Let's" Rose nodded...


	9. "Hi.   I'm Looking For a Kevin?"

******

The noise was getting closer, louder as it rapidly approached from behind

"This is all your fault, you know?" Rose panted out as she sprinted down the corridor

"I know! I know!" The Doctor yelled as they skidded around the corner "here! Here! Right here!" whipping out her sonic screwdriver she aimed it at the door, the lock sliding open. Panting for breath, The Doctor shoved Rose through the door, slamming it shut behind them

"Can I help you?" the room's lone occupant asked, staring at them in confusion

"Oh. Hi," The Doctor panted out "sorry to bother you. Don't mind us, won't be here long," she tried for a smile "uh, I'm The Doctor. This is Rose"

"Hello" Rose waved shyly

"Sorry to bother you. Again," The Doctor apologized "I'm looking for a Kevin?"


	10. "No, I Want You To Follow This Nutter Into The Dark"

******

“Are you sure this is safe?” Rose asked

“Perfectly,” The Doctor declared, grunting as she bumped into a wall “OK…sorta safe,” she admitted “it is dark”

“And you still want us to follow those nutters into the dark?” Rose challenged

“No, I want you to follow _this_ nutter into the dark,” The Doctor countered “they're only robots,” she reminded her wife “and not very bright ones at that, they haven’t even noticed that we’re following them”

“INTRUDERS DETECTED”

“Oops”

“Never mind that, RUN!!!” Rose yelled…

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought :=)


End file.
